Monday, December 19, 2011

notes taken from a parisian dame

according to my great-aunt

from 1947-1957 -
my grandfather studied in france
she loved him dearly.
he loved to draw, he was always drawing, he was a gentle soul
he never looked back to art after deciding to go into engineering
a true appreciation for the arts never left him though
he loved music.
london for a music festival,
had everything stolen
and hitchhiked back.
those were the days,
when you could trust people to hitchhike.
his favorite opera? carmen.
he stayed at hostels.
yeah, they existed back when.
i always thought, my grandfather's hearing left him because of his age.
i just assumed everyone lost their hearing after they were old.
but this time around, i learned
he lost his hearing because of the beatings he received
for trying to leave Vietnam
to be with his children in the states.
there's more to that history,
but that's for another time, over tea

my greataunt calls blackberry's - des petits machines
-- yes, that's adorable.

she's a proper lady - born in the 1930s.
to an aristocratic family
everything about her
screams elegance
class, and elitism
a nazi about etiquette
a woman who denied the 10 year old me from going to the bathroom
because it wouldn't be proper to just walk into a cafe
just to use the bathroom, without sitting down
and ordering, eating, then paying

she's fiercely french
i mean, really.
this is a lady that drops 80 euros on 2 kilos of cheese.
this is a lady that was in better shape at 80, than i was at 8.
this is a lady that has a baguette and camembert for breakfast.
this is a lady that spares no expense when it comes to wine.

she was an optometrist.
she was a traveler.

she made all of her children learn french and german -
before they ever learned vietnamese.
actually, i speak vietnamese better than my aunts and uncles.
languages is all about discipline, she says very seriously.
you can't really argue with a gal like her.

she doesn't seem to realize that i get extremely confused
about whether or not
i should use french or vietnamese
when she switches from language to language
i don't think she even realizes she switches language

my studies. how are my studies?
she wants me to go to the London School of Economics
she can rattle off enough facts about LSE for me to write the grad school application
i know she's proud of me.
in fact, every time we're out she brags about me.
my niece, just came from Chine -- she was studying Chinese, with a scholarship!
they look at me, eyes popping. wait, aren't you Chinese?
i try not to roll my eyes

she also happens to know taxi drivers around the city,
and they know her.
and offer her madeleines
because they know they're soft enough for her teeth
she doesn't need to tell them the address, 31 rue st. jacques
because they know all the shortcuts to get there already

she goes on to carry on grand conversations with them about everything
from politics - to immigration - to what restaurant has the best couscous in town
she knows the name of every monument on every corner,
and the date when they were erected

this woman is a living history book
this woman is a character.

she has a taste for moroccan tea, and loves indian food
she admires the english for their pedagogy
and the japanese for their health

she's been so scarred by the war --
that she will never be a socialist in france.
conservative, traditional, and nationalistic.
liberté, fraternité, égalité

she embodies what it means to be french.
my aunts and uncles -- completely integrated into french culture
my uncle?
a neurologist like his father,
accepted into the legion of honor for his work
my aunt?
speaks more languages fluently than i'm currently learning.
my cousins?
half tunisian half vietnamese -- fully french.

they go to see plays, operas, exhibitions, and concerts almost weekly
there's an apartment in the 5th arrondissement and a house in the countryside for holidays.

my great aunt - is excited about her trip to Stalingrad, Russia this upcoming April.
my great aunt - i remember from my summers in France, as this strong independent woman.

my aunt so desperately embraces french culture.
that i can't help but wonder - am I less because I'm Vietnamese?
but redeem myself
- because of my language skills.
- because of my education
- because of my obvious love for travel

i love her.
but
when did she age so quickly...
when did i begin to worry...

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